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May 17 2011
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Education, Endurance, Motivation, Priorities, Time Management, Value

Procrastination is A Beautiful Letdown


When I procrastinate–as I am currently doing by updating my blog–it’s a letdown.

I get into this anxiety-inducing coma of thoughts… my fearful thoughts envelop me, cause me to come dangerously close to nervous breakdown territory, and then create enough freaked out momentum to propel me through my procrastination haze with great torrents of gusto and enthusiasm.  This period of time is usually birthed out of great encouragement from my friends, husband, and to-do-list.. all cheering me “ONWARD!  You can do this!  Do it… Don’t stop now.. you’re so close!”  Through their prodding and enticing words, I look at my tasks ahead and decide that the night before is just as good a time as any to begin.

(Brief interlude: Why do I do this to myself, you may ask?  Well–friend, the fact is this… it does produce results.  Procrastination works for both my husband and I.. occasionally helping, with God’s grace, to make exceptional pieces of work that may not have been created otherwise–there is so much tension, so much last minute energy, that we work very hard in a short amount of time.  If we planned things out to a T, and did things before hand, it just wouldn’t be so exciting.  I think that’s the only good explanation for why we seem to habitually fall into this mode of operation.  I’m not condoning it.. just saying that it is one way to get things accomplished.  However, we go through great amounts of unnecessary stress, frustration, and sometimes get ourselves in a bind because of it. )

So at this stage of the game, when I’m finally pushed into overdrive, I am in a frenzy.  My mind goes through different periods of a totally on guard, awake, hyper-drive mode… then switches to a black out mode where I seem to misplace everything, turn the wrong burner on while cooking… and talk to my husband in half-sentences that he must work to decipher.  Most likely because I am thinking of all the crap I haven’t done, that I must do, and don’t have my mind on the things that I am currently trying to do. Not a delightful place to be.

As the semester closes, I am so ready to be done I can taste it.  I have one final tomorrow (a devilishly difficult one.. seems as though our prof has given us a curve ball exam, and I hardly recognize the study guide as material we learned!) and a presentation of my portfolio (which I should take pride in, as its a representation of my whole career as an undergrad) and that’s IT!

The story with my portfolio is this: It includes so many components of my life, my coursework, my passions, that it is something I should be able to love–easily.  The upside: I began it about a month ago, to get ahead of the curve.  The downside: I am just now sitting down to complete it (before tomorrow).  Oopsies.  Well, I have all of this built up fear, all of this anxiety about not having finished it yet… and I sit down to make myself do it.

I dawdle a bit.  Then I open up the files to work on them, get on the livetext website I am using to present it.. and what do I realize?  Goodness, the end is not nearly so far as I had imagined.  My project has fewer dilemmas to work out, less problematic aspects, and more fun to it than I realized!  This happens often with the things in life I MUST to do.  As I procrastinate… my fear of working on a project increases.  It expands and warps until suddenly, my once small and doable task has turned into a terrible creature that I cannot recognize.

I do this to myself.  And, I can say, it has gotten better.  The more often I’ve done it, the more I can see this pattern of imagining things as far worse than they truly are… and realizing I’ve done that.  Realizing I’ve created a monster that doesn’t exist.  I have freaked myself out and procrastinated, when it’s really not all that bad.

Ha.

So… this putting things off habit–which I don’t do all the time, but usually do when I feel like I can’t complete something properly, can be a beautiful letdown.  Yes, indeed, there is hope for us all.  A wonderful disappointment.  Because though I have done it again, I have come a little bit closer to working with myself and understanding myself.

Aren’t we amusing creatures?

Okey dokey smokey.  I must get down to business.

Thanks for letting me procrastinate just a bit more.

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Feb 11 2011
3 Comments
Conscientious, Marriage, Motivation, Priorities, Relationships

Thoughts: Tiger Mother Vs. Unschooling Mother Vs. ?


First: A Quick Celebratory Note!  This blog passed up the 1,000 views mark, and I’m excited about it!
Thanks to anyone who reads, you make me blush.

Unfortunately, I’m home sick.  Since yesterday, I’m stuck lying around in bed, sleeping periodically–yuck.  Just what I wanted, when the weather finally seems to be coming out of the deep ice-age!  So anyhow… No need to feel too sad for me: with my conscious sickbed time, I’ve been reading some pretty sweet new blogs on a new, interesting site called Seeded Buzz.  The site allows you to browse categorically, and so it wasn’t difficult to quickly find some meaty stuff that piqued my interest.  They specifically fine-tune the site to get interesting blogs that people WANT to read.  Nice.  My favorite new blog, of the moment, is Organically Inclined.  The content she features is top-notch, readable, funny, and life applicable when you’re concerned with being a sustainable family.  Her wit is astounding.  Her life story is unbelievable.  She’s also written a stash of books.  Wowza.

So my inspiration sprouted from her post on Unschooling her children, which I think is fabulous.  There are many aspects of parenting, but different styles affect everything.  I thought this nifty diagram would help you, humorously, envision the different influences of parenting styles, and how they affect children.  Funny, because of the complicated nature, but truthful nonetheless.


Ok–so the main idea of this post was inspired by one of the posts on Organically Inclined (by Michelle Kennedy Hogan).  Hopefully you’re following this trail of thoughts.   I’ve devoted a few moments of my time to pondering parenting (through my years studying Psych), and it’s certainly a hot-seat topic worth revving our engines for.  The plot of the parenthood story is not a boring one: many parents have to deal with kids who aren’t ordinary (Ha, Whatever the heck that means!), who have special needs for learning or growing or communicating; who have personalities that require specific attention of some kind (i.e. behavioral issues, special needs, social anxiety, exceptional intelligence, etc.), and it boils down to being a HUGE role for the shining parent star.

The cast in the story of raising a child is certainly not small, from what I have seen.  The character list of a child-rearing story consists of many players, (on every layer imaginable!) both wanted and unwanted, helping, or telling, the parent what they need to and SHOULD do for the best interest of their child!  Sound scary?  I think so.  Some of these individuals may be: Neighbors, Grandparents, Friends, Teachers, Other Parents, Psychologists, Social Workers, The Lunch Lady, The Librarian, and various other Random Social Figures (named and unnamed).  As you see, there are a lot of people trying to give the dish about being a parent.

Being Little Mrs. Newlywed, I’m only just beginning to understand the dynamics involved with this crazy little charade.  I’m excited about it, but I think it’s still a social game that you have to figure out.  I do know that there will always be extremes, and I probably don’t want to be either of them.  One extreme I never want to become is this:  Amy Chua wrote a book called “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” which I first heard about on NPR.  They were introducing the story, in an interesting light, by saying how harsh, yet funny, Chua’s books was.  It’s all about the “Chinese Way” of parenting.  It’s controversial, it is borderline insanity, and in the U.S. I’m sure any onlookers would be calling DCFS faster than the perpetrating parent can drag their child to the car.  Harshness is certainly not my cup of parenting tea.  I would rather my kids have, more-or-less free will, fail when necessary, and realize their failures in life on their own (with me offering guidance)..than lord over them with a strict, hitler-like regime of educational strictness and strivings after success.  Bad as all of this seems to me, (horrible!) I still can’t wait to grab a copy from the library and check out this style of hard parenting in its entirety, for myself.


On another wavelength entirely, we have The Unschooling Parent.  The unschooling parent seems to allow her children to thrive the way they are, how they want to, when and where they want to.  As I read this aforementioned article, my heart fluttered happily with visions of hippie flowers and rainbows.  Ok.. maybe that was the Nyquil.  This is the kind of parenting dreams are made of.  This is more along the lines of how I envision myself.  It’s more of an extreme than a lot of parents (but there are a lot of categories of these extremes) towards children being responsible, parents allowing them to crash if need be,  and allowing kids to pursue their passions.  Michelle offers up interesting insight about her kids, and how she handled situations with them… plus the fact that you don’t need to sweat over your kids ACT scores, and other “measures of success.”  I couldn’t agree more, and these are some interesting things to think about.

So what exactly do I want to do when I’m a parent?  Well, first off, I have to acknowledge that it’s impossible for me to be and do everything I hope I will.  My dad has made that really, super, pristinely clear to me over the course of my teenage years, until present.  I would yell at him as a teen, “I’ll NEVER MAKE MY KIDS DO THIS!!!”  Or something along those lines.. and now, I look back and realize that I have no idea what I would do in my parents’ place.  Funny.  As a parent, I do know that I want to always give Unconditional Positive Regard.  I’ve thought long and hard, and I know this is the TOP priority for me.  No matter what.  If my kid comes out having purple hair, green toes, and pink lips… so be it. They will be beautiful and important and interesting to me.  I want to give that Agape kind of love, that I’ve only found in my relationship with Jesus.  Some other things?  I want to give my kids a chance to be who they are, without the heavy impressions of gender stereotypes. If I have a little boy, I want to read about Trains, Planes, and Automobiles… But I’ll still be reading him “Olivia”!!!  If I have a little girl, I’m not going to tell her she has to be a Mommy, and I’d really prefer to NOT give her a baby and a stroller when she’s 3 years old.  I know, I know… these things have become the norm… but I want to give my kids a chance to decide for themselves what they’re interested in, without all of society’s opinions deciding for them first.

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Jan 30 2011
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Conscientious, Education, Environment, Motivation, Relationships, Value

Your Corner of The World.



Part of my life entails teaching a course at my college, Environmental Science & Stewardship, every Friday.  I lead discussions, we watch intriguing and inspiring videos, and I hope to include more hands-on, get-yourself dirty, active aspects this semester.  Having this job creates elements of responsibility & activism that encourage me onward in my saga to do my part as often as possible: I am a steward of God’s Creation.  I’m not just a person who is an automaton teacher–I am on a mission with students who can change the world.  Consequently, because of my faith in restoring creation, I am eager to impress upon my students the changes that they can make, I can make, and that we can make together.  In order to instill a longing and appreciation towards preserving beauty & acquiring stewardship, I hope to continue in leadership capacities such as this.  An end dream I have would be to combine the skills I’ve been blessed to learn, and the resources I know are available, in order to create a family education group in a community (who knows, maybe this will be in years to come, and I don’t know where we’ll be by then!) that needs it.  As part of this, I would want to simply shout to the mountaintops the fact that we can all do something.  Whatever your station, whatever your experience (or inexperience!) you are someone unique, with a certain place in the world that connects to all others:

Students:  In some of the most advantageous positions to acquire new skills and understandings, students are capable of many things!  You could start a movement.  You could create a non-profit.  There are many things happening, and possible, in a world full of technology.  I began a “Green Group” at my college, and though it is difficult to keep a fledgling group active, I am still working at making this kind of thing a reality.  Students, you have so many professors, intellectuals, colleagues, and friends that can be legions for brainstorms.  If you see a problem in your world, and you see something that can be done, DO IT, by all means.  Does your campus recycle?  Is there a population of teens in the area that are troubled and need mentorship?  Do you see homeless individuals in your area?  Believe me, I know what it means to be the annoying squeaky wheel… but how do you think anything comes into fruition?  The squeaky wheel matters.  : )

Businesses: Many businesses work in a creative or innovative capacity, which is wonderful!– but a gigantic amount of resources are often used in the process of providing services.  Sometimes with just a bit of extra work or a little extra thought, these resources don’t have to be utilized, or an alternative solution can be found.  Paper is probably something nobody thinks much of, but a little thing can create a big pile of waste.  If your business doesn’t recycle, consider the options available.  If you can opt for direct deposit, it’s very convenient, and saves a bit of resources every month.  If there is a cause in your community, a family in need, or a charity auction happening, try to see that your business can be an agent of positive change.  Oftentimes things like these are small ways that a business can send a very clear message to their clients:  We are socially responsible, thoughtful, and possess ingenuity!  We have a special feature at our company: We care about our actions. As someone who is choosy about where I shop & who gets my business, I am careful to select brands and companies that give to charitable organizations, volunteer their time, do micro-lending (find out what that’s about at Kiva), do not test their products on animals, or offset their carbon footprint.  Nobody can do everything, but everyone can certainly do something.  If you’d like to see a cool website that rates products based on health, environment, and responsibility, check out  The Good Guide.I highly recommend finding out what kind of rating your house hold items receive and why.

Moms, Dads, Teachers, Mentors, Brothers & Sisters, Family, etc.:  In some way or another, this can apply to all of us.  We all have parents, we have all had teachers, and more likely than not we are connected to someone in another generation.  There is not a single person I can think of who wasn’t impacted strongly by one person in these categories.  These roles are essential in our world.  I salute you for responsibility in raising the world’s next generation: this is a very big shoe to fill indeed.  In your actions and choices, you are being carefully watched by tiny spies all around you.  They may not seem as though they are taking it all in and observing your every move, but they are!  The kids that take their cues from you come to value you more highly than you realize, and will probably become somewhat like you in future.  If you believe in restoring our world, and responsibility… if you think that we can all make a difference, then the buck stops here.  Sign that bill and pass it into law: you have the power.  Playing with the kids in your lives, investing in their ideas, being role models & listening with heartfelt sincerity, you make all the difference of a  very influential world leader.  Day-to-day, your actions and motivations matter to these young ones: our future teachers and leaders.

Singles: I definitely didn’t want to leave this part of the equation out.  Many people are overlooked when they’re in the single stage of life.  So much more bustling action seems to be happening with the newlywed crowd, new families, or the matchy couples who do everything together.. or sometimes maybe not.  I have seen single people who have a passion and tunnel headfirst into it with all of the energy and determination necessary to start a riot with good results!  At some places that I have volunteered or been a part of, I see that the most inspiring and most selfless are often those who realize that their single life has more time to give, more dedication available, and is greatly rewarded when selfish desires aren’t their central focus.  Some of the most impactful singles I can think of are Mother Theresa & Paul of Tarsus.  It seems they channeled all of their life energy into serving others.  I want to emphasize how special this time of your life is, whether you like it and want to be single, or whatever your situation.  Your assets are many without being tied down, and you can make a difference in the lives of others.

No matter what your corner of the globe, so to speak, your life is like a web: it is interwoven, connected, and continually changed by the lives of others.  We can’t function alone and disconnected. We are all a part of this world and the beauty in that is this: we are never alone with our battles, and in seeking solutions.  If you can connect yourself, believe in yourself and in people, some pretty astounding things can become possible.

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Jan 27 2011
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Creativity, Education, Motivation, Relationships, Value

The Teacher


Socrates was an interesting guy, one of the early contributors to philosophy and psychology.  He was one who questioned everything, which eventually was the end of him… but I admire his deep belief that “Truth cannot be defined by an absolute authority, but rather lies hidden in every mind.”  His life philosophy, as a teacher, was that his role was to help his students to unveil this truth inside themselves–the truth was already there it just had to be uncovered.  I especially like this view when looking at creation: God created the world and it holds truth.  We hold the truth within ourselves even when we have no idea of its existence.  When teachers hold this view of their students, that each and every individual holds an important morsel of truth, a grain of undeniable humanity, I see that they teach quite differently.
With some teachers, I have experienced a sense of camaraderie, a shared love of learning, a fellowship of nurturing guidance along my path of study.  These kinds of people usually exhibit humility, a good sense of humor, compassion, and genuine transparency.  Among their qualities I also find two other impressive elements: The ability to admit when they are incorrect, and their attitude of a shared teaching/learning situation with their students.  They are not above reproach, and they are not too proud to learn something from the ones they teach: in fact, they readily hope to gain insights from their pupils!  By teaching in this way, they have encouraged me, fought my academic battles beside me, and instilled hope in my soul that anticipates the future.

Oh the disappointment I’ve felt, though, when I encountered the antithesis of this aforementioned humble teacher.  I have felt the oppression of a proud, highly intelligent yet hard-knuckled individual dominating the classroom.  In these places, I felt smothered and nearly unable to contribute to discussion or even to force myself to learn.  I felt belittled, small, and incapable of anything that would change our world.  I always wondered how that person–the one in great, unquestioned authority at the time–could ever hope to progress in their life if they have not opened their mind to possibilities.  When we believe we are the ultimate go-to person, the authority, the Bible of knowledge… then we have shut out our possibility to learn from the world around us.  We have all done it at one point or another.  People will shut off.  The lights will, figuratively, go dim.  We will be the only human around.

Though I am not pursuing education as a profession any longer, I hope that I will be a lifelong student.  These two types of teachers that I described have molded and shaped us in very different ways.  I try to go back and remember both: I try to seek out those professors who have truly change my life: The ones who lived what they taught, and taught because they cared about the future.  I tell them how they reassured me and impacted me!  I also try to remember the other teachers who have oppressed me, because I can learn from them too.  I have often analyzed these people, trying to gain some knowledge into what made them tick.  In the end, I think that a part of them died: The part that could laugh at themselves and love the process of teaching and learning in return–a beautiful exchange.

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Nov 08 2010
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Motivation

Incentives Week!


Today, incentives week has begun for the GC telecounseling team!

Here at the college, the telecounseling team spends these working hours calling up students who have asked for some info about the school… then discussing the 411 on the progress of their college search.  Some conversations are interesting, some surprising (like certain names!  wow…. I didn’t know that name existed.. anywhere!), some downright rude (he’s hung up on me three times now! I hope its not four…), and some very rewarding.  I love what I’m doing, and its been almost 3 months now… so I’m glad that this is something I can invest myself in happily.  I also get to write blogs for the college, about what campus life is all about.  I love getting paid to write, it’s fabulous.

So anyhow, about incentives week.  Sometimes our boss gives us these weeks to kind of help us kick-start our calling sprees.  This week is our first one.  The rewards aren’t that huge–we get a $5 gift card to the coffee shop in town (mmm!) if we make the goal ourselves, and we get a better reward if everyone on the team meets the challenge placed before us (All of us have to have 60 completed calls & at least one post with a video or photo included on GC’s student blog).  If we all meet this challenge, we will each get the gift cards PLUS a paid night off from work.  That is sweet.

I think it’s added excitement to have a challenge like this in front of me.  I didn’t really think I was that competitive, but I like seeing where my limits are, and competition is fun between co-workers.  For tonight, I’ve made 25 completed calls, almost 1/2 of the individual goal I need to make for the week, and I’m proud of myself for working hard & not getting sidetracked (which is definitely my downfall at times).  It’s a good feeling to get this accomplished, especially when you’re genuinely helping people.

Aside from that, this makes me think of bigger things in life, more broad generalizations that we make of ourselves, and goals that we set.  This is a great lesson in potentials.  What do I do every week, that God has planned for me… but what greater good could I do if I were looking at the big picture of what is possible?  I’m not sure how many calls I normally make to perspectives each week, but I know for SURE that I don’t usually average 25 calls a night!  What is God giving me for my future… what does He have there… that I’m not even reaching towards, because I see myself as “doing just fine…” ???

Something to think about.

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